I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
