I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We have started to decorate penises.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
