no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
