You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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