Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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