i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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