awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
