A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
