new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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