My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
