There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
