do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
