is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
