I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
