he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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