We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
