Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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