Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
