Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
