Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
