i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
