omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
