Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
