found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
