whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
