I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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