I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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