Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
