I am puke
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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