I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
