i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
