Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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