It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
