God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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