Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
