CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
