You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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