she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Its about making memories worth repressing
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
