Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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