How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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