I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
