Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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