the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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