My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
