Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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