So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
