I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
