My friends, they love my intelligence
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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