I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
