last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
