when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
